Just like being in love can be a heady feeling, there is a certain calmness and sense of clarity for those who fall out of love. Yes, you heard it right. For many there comes a point in life when throwing away those rose tinted glasses can be something that was much required. Here are three women who confess to have fallen out of love.
“It shouldn’t have happened”
For 26-year-old Binita Grover, it was the classic case of office romance when she fell in love with Vijay (name changed) who was her senior. “It was very exciting as we used to work together and shared meals. But within one year of our relationship, I came to know that Vijay was married. Initially he spoke of divorcing his wife and all but over time he started telling me of his conservative family and what they expected out of his wife and so on. Those things started really putting me off and I realised that all those things that attracted me to him in the first place was just infatuation or love euphoria. After three years of going around and all the stress of would he divorce, could I settle with someone who was nine years older to me, I decided to end the relationship. I could see that this relationship was going nowhere and I wanted to be in love with someone who also understood where I came from.”
“We grew apart”
Anar Shukla believes that falling in love is never in one’s hands. It usually your mind functioning at a racing speed, trying to look for things that you either think you are missing in yourself or probably a similarity of a trait that defines you, she says.
“I think I had met the person of my dreams on the first day of my college. I continued to date him for seven years and since we were in similar creative fields, it was great going. Also the fact that we were staying in Australia alone we had come to really depend on each other and were very comfortable among ourselves. While we were extremely sorted professionally, we were looking for completely different things to hold on to in life. There came point in life when I wanted to settle down and get on to the next phase of our relationship while he was still undecided. Over some time I started finding his indecisiveness unsettling. He had by then moved out of Australia and we tried hard to make things work but somehow it just didn’t seem to work out. It was then that we realized that even though we had this strong dependency on each other we needed totally different things in life.” Anar now believes that it happened for good. “Falling in and out of love is natural. What takes a higher toll on your mind is to deal with the fact that you have actually fallen out of love with the person you thought was your soul mate. Having said that am very happy we parted ways and hold no bad feelings,” says this 31-year-old.
“The distance was too far”
For 27-year-old medical practitioner Ratna Bhatt, it was the physical distance that took a toll on her relationship. “It wasn’t really love-at-first sight because we met through a social networking site. He was in the US and I was here, so we knew that it won’t be that easy to carry on a long distance relationship, but we both gave it a try and surprisingly it started off pretty well. Initially it was all very hunky dory as we used to talk whenever we got a chance, and we were constantly chatting through messages and mails. After a year of chatting online we decided to meet and he came to India. Family commitments and friends took most of his time and somewhere I wasn’t his priority anymore. That’s when I realized that things weren’t that great. We hardly had any time to meet, and soon it was time for him to go. Once he was back at work we were constantly fighting and things that we liked about each other started to irritate us. We used to fight on every petty issue. Where once we used to talk for hours, there came a time when we went without talking for months. Slowly the long distance took a toll on us and we realised that the relationship wasn’t working that great. After three years of all this roller coaster ride we finally parted ways. I never felt bad or heart broken because, somewhere I knew that I just couldn’t carry this long distance relationship. Initially it was hard to see no messages from him on my phone or email, but with the help of my friends I came out of the mourning period soon. But even though this happened I’m sure that someday I will meet the love of my lifer who will be with me till eternity.”
“It shouldn’t have happened”
For 26-year-old Binita Grover, it was the classic case of office romance when she fell in love with Vijay (name changed) who was her senior. “It was very exciting as we used to work together and shared meals. But within one year of our relationship, I came to know that Vijay was married. Initially he spoke of divorcing his wife and all but over time he started telling me of his conservative family and what they expected out of his wife and so on. Those things started really putting me off and I realised that all those things that attracted me to him in the first place was just infatuation or love euphoria. After three years of going around and all the stress of would he divorce, could I settle with someone who was nine years older to me, I decided to end the relationship. I could see that this relationship was going nowhere and I wanted to be in love with someone who also understood where I came from.”
“We grew apart”
Anar Shukla believes that falling in love is never in one’s hands. It usually your mind functioning at a racing speed, trying to look for things that you either think you are missing in yourself or probably a similarity of a trait that defines you, she says.
“I think I had met the person of my dreams on the first day of my college. I continued to date him for seven years and since we were in similar creative fields, it was great going. Also the fact that we were staying in Australia alone we had come to really depend on each other and were very comfortable among ourselves. While we were extremely sorted professionally, we were looking for completely different things to hold on to in life. There came point in life when I wanted to settle down and get on to the next phase of our relationship while he was still undecided. Over some time I started finding his indecisiveness unsettling. He had by then moved out of Australia and we tried hard to make things work but somehow it just didn’t seem to work out. It was then that we realized that even though we had this strong dependency on each other we needed totally different things in life.” Anar now believes that it happened for good. “Falling in and out of love is natural. What takes a higher toll on your mind is to deal with the fact that you have actually fallen out of love with the person you thought was your soul mate. Having said that am very happy we parted ways and hold no bad feelings,” says this 31-year-old.
“The distance was too far”
For 27-year-old medical practitioner Ratna Bhatt, it was the physical distance that took a toll on her relationship. “It wasn’t really love-at-first sight because we met through a social networking site. He was in the US and I was here, so we knew that it won’t be that easy to carry on a long distance relationship, but we both gave it a try and surprisingly it started off pretty well. Initially it was all very hunky dory as we used to talk whenever we got a chance, and we were constantly chatting through messages and mails. After a year of chatting online we decided to meet and he came to India. Family commitments and friends took most of his time and somewhere I wasn’t his priority anymore. That’s when I realized that things weren’t that great. We hardly had any time to meet, and soon it was time for him to go. Once he was back at work we were constantly fighting and things that we liked about each other started to irritate us. We used to fight on every petty issue. Where once we used to talk for hours, there came a time when we went without talking for months. Slowly the long distance took a toll on us and we realised that the relationship wasn’t working that great. After three years of all this roller coaster ride we finally parted ways. I never felt bad or heart broken because, somewhere I knew that I just couldn’t carry this long distance relationship. Initially it was hard to see no messages from him on my phone or email, but with the help of my friends I came out of the mourning period soon. But even though this happened I’m sure that someday I will meet the love of my lifer who will be with me till eternity.”
Comments
Post a Comment